The Mega-Complicated Crushes of Lottie Brooks
The Mega-Complicated Crushes of Lottie Brooks is a part of the Lottie Brooks collection.
In the third installment of the Lottie Brooks series, discover the crush calamities, friendship fumbles, and homework mishaps of an 11 (and 3/4) year old girl trying to survive her first year of middle school.
Dear Diary,
BIG, MEGA, SUPER-HUGE news! I, Lottie Brooks, your favorite sixth grader (probably) will be going on her VERY FIRST DATE! (I won't ruin the surprise and tell you who with.) There just One Little Problem. I don't know what happens on a date. Or what I should wear. Or what I should do if my date tries to kiss me! Or if I smell good. *sniffs* Actually, it turns out I have A LOT OF PROBLEMS!
Luckily, I always have my BFFs, Molly and Jess, by my side to cheer me on. Not to mention my pet hammies! Plus, mom likes to remind me there is more to life that boys. And I agree. There's also cheese paninis, slumber parties, braces (that one's not ideal), and bubble tea, and being the queens of sixth grade.
I may not be sure of everything, but I do know that with my besties, my families, and maybe even a bubble tea or two, I can survive anything—even a mega-complicated crush.
xx,
Lottie
An Excerpt fromThe Mega-Complicated Crushes of Lottie Brooks
TUESDAY, MAY 3
7:12 a.m.
OMG OMG OMG!!!!!
Today I have to see Cheeto Fingers and maybe even speak to him . . .
I know we chatted last night but that was just on WhatsApp. Today it will be IN PERSON, which is completely different because it involves ACTUALLY seeing him with ACTUAL eyes and ACTUALLY speaking to him with ACTUAL lips.
OMG!!
I REALLY don’t want to go all BRINE-DOOPEY again and mess it up because it’s been going so well . . . In case you’ve forgotten, we have an ACTUAL date.
OMG!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I’d better stop obsessing over Daniel and get dressed and brush my teeth or I’ll be late for school. I will update you ASAP when I get home.
Wish me luck!
Note to self: You really must stop saying OMG so much.
4:14 p.m.
OK, I’m back.
So . . . because I was pretty late for school for reasons beyond my control, I didn’t see Daniel at all until lunchtime.
There I was, standing in the lunch line with Jess, and he comes in with some friends.
Jess starts nudging me and going . . .
She clearly thought she was being really funny, when actually it was not very funny AT ALL. If I’d been able to get a gag on her without drawing EVEN more attention to the situation, I would have, but instead I just gave her my best Death Stare.
I’ve been working on my Death Stare for about three and half years now. If you’re interested in perfecting your own, here are my simple instructions:
How to perform the perfect Death Stare:
1.Open eyes really wide.
2.Tilt head slightly to the left.
3.Grit teeth while simultaneously pursing your lips.
4.Frown in a quizzical sort of way that implies: “WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?!”
I mean, I’ll admit it’s not exactly the most attractive look, but it gets the job done, and that’s what it’s all about.
Anyway . . . sorry. Back to the story . . .
Suddenly Daniel is right there in front of me, and he gives me a really strange look.
That’s when I remembered I was still doing my Death Stare—so I reorganized my facial features back into their usual positions.
Apart from the initial weirdness, you’ll be really excited to know that the convo went pretty well. I’ve written a transcript here as I know you must be EXTRA MEGA INTERESTED . . .
me:Hey, Daniel!
daniel:Hey, Lottie.
me:What are you having for lunch today?
daniel:I brought in a cheese sandwich. You?
me:I’m getting a cheese panini.
daniel:Nice.
me:Have you got any chips?
daniel:Yeah, Cheetos.
me:Cool.
*Five seconds of awkward silence*
me:Do you like Cheetos then?
daniel:Yeah.
me:I thought you might . . . It’s just I noticed that you eat them quite a lot . . . How often do you usually have them?
daniel:Errr . . . not sure, maybe twice a week.
. . . Why? Are you monitoring my chip consumption, Lottie?
me:NO! That would be weird . . .
daniel:Yes, it would.
me:I just always find with Cheetos that the cheese powder can get a bit messy and sometimes it can get stuck under your fingernails, so you have to wash your hands extra super well afterward . . . Do you find that too?
daniel: Um . . . Maybe . . . I’ve never really noticed.
me: Hmmm.
*Three more seconds of awkward silence*
me and daniel at the same time: So . . .
*Nervous laughter*
daniel:You still cool for next Saturday, yeah? Boho Gelato at three?
me:Yeah, great. See ya there!
I mean, it wasn’t without fault. The cheese-powder part was maybe a bit intense, and I may have come across as a chip-obsessed freak, BUT I did plant the seed about the potential cheese-powder-fingernail issue, so at least he’s aware of the dangers now.
The most positive part was that all my words were REAL ENGLISH WORDS so I’m going to give myself an A+ for effort. Well done, me.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Must try and think of some conversation topics that don’t revolve around chips.